Self Esteem & Chocolate Chess Pies

I went to a bridal shower on Saturday. The purpose was to stock the bride-to-be's kitchen. We served lunch and enjoyed all sort of yummy 'chick' food. My sister volunteered my Chocolate Chess Pies. While these pies can taste like heaven, they don't always present a pretty picture. The mixture frequently spills onto the crust before baking, and the top almost always cracks. As I was mixing the pie filling, I prayed, "Lord, please let them turn out pretty." Now before you think that I was praying that because I wanted them pretty for the bride or hostess, just stop. My reasoning was not that self-less! My thoughts up to this shower had been on myself. I just knew that everyone there would be thin, beautiful and married. Everything that (I feel) that I'm not. I started two weeks before in planning my outfit. I even had a pedicure so that I could wear open-toed shoes. I was afraid people would look at my not-so-perfect pies and say, "You know, that overweight girl over there, who isn't married? Those sad looking pies are hers." So, with that in mind, I prayed that God would make my pies pretty.

Shallow, huh? Well, that struck me as I prayed, so then I asked if He would help them to be a blessing... But I knew that HE knew that I didn't really mean it... Confused, yet? So, I laughed, asked His forgiveness, and prayed that He would be in charge and help me to overcome my shallowness.

The pies were a success and the shower was full of beautiful women who loved God with all their hearts. Not once did I feel judged or left out. My worries and struggles were for nothing. I felt silly and still do as I write this. But I can't be the only one who acts and feels this way, so here it is. You are not alone, we are silly together.

What silly things are in your thought patterns?

Lara

Mine, Too

Almost 20 years ago, in one of the darkest moments of my life, a great man told my father something beautiful that I still hold to today. My brother had broken the hearts of his family and his wife. His father-in-law, Bob Warner, called us and showed us the very heart of God when he said to my father, "Don, he's our son, too." Through the pain his own daughter was feeling, this man of God recognized our pain. Even now, almost 20 years after God's mighty restoration of my brother's marriage, those words resonate with me. Especially yesterday...

My beautiful sister-in-law, who allowed God to restore her marriage, called yesterday with a frightening diagnosis. Cancer had been found in one of her own family members. Disbelief, fear and nausea were my immediate reactions. There was no, and still is no, reaction of, "Thank God it's not my family member!" Because, you see, this woman is my family member. We have since found out that the cancer is still at Stage 1, which is a great relief. But cancer is still cancer, and I can have a hard time remembering that God is bigger than cancer.

You see, she's 'mine, too' and I'm still a little afraid.

Lara

Pride

I just read a blog from a college friend of my sister's, Bobby Lepinay. He is pastor of Harvest Outreach in Pensacola, FL. The website is http://harvestpensacola.com. His blog-site is http://bobbylepinay.typepad.com/ Today's post really hit home with me, so I've added it for you all to read. If you get a chance, check Harvest out, it's an incredible ministry.

Spiritual Pride
Many moons ago, when I was in my mid to late 20's, I went through a period of deep disillusionment with "church". I had begun to read alot of 'deeper life' Christian Classics, great in their own right, but for me, they worked discontentment in me concerning what I saw as the shallowness and superficiality of most churches.
This went on for quite some time. Without question, the Lord used the books I was reading to create a deeper thirst in my heart. But likewise, something sinister grew in me as well: Spiritual pride.
I could hardly be in a church service without this horrible attitude of "this is so shallow"......or "this is nothing but a religious pep rally" filling my mind. A critical spirit had filled taken control.
And the fruit of a critical spirit began to invade my life.
Even as I write, I am embarrassed by the fact I ever went here. But the Lord is merciful. Through a period of about 2 years, He delivered me from this 'toxic waste' of the heart, convicting me of allowing spiritual pride into my life.
I humbled myself and rather than criticizing the church, I began to just serve as a simple brother. I determined to be a blessing to my pastor. I determined to be a blessing to my fellow brothers and sisters. I determined to grow in my giving, to, as the Scripture says, "think of others as better than myself".
When that old feeling of criticism began to creep in, I resisted it and renounced it, 'crucifying' this work of the flesh.
That is what it is, folks. Spiritual arrogance and pride is a nasty, gross work of the flesh. It produces bitter water in us. Rather than being a free, joyful, buoyant life-giving personality, we separate ourselves.
We give less. We serve less. We love less.....
......We in effect make ourselves "little judges".
I see this more and more working in many 20 somethings. It is troubling. They have no idea how severely the Lord deals with spiritual pride, the sin of Satan himself. When I see it at work, usually in a younger person, I pray, as the person is so full of themselves and their own ideas they can no longer listen. Honor and respect for their elders has vacated their hearts.
It truly is a most dangerous place to be."

I don't know how many times I've allowed my pride to dictate my impression of people, circumstances & churches. Just wanted to send this your way, in case you recognize yourself, as I have.

Lara