Shattered Dreams

Last year, I felt the Lord prompting me to begin teaching a junior high Sunday school class. It only took a year to actually begin. Immediate response has never been a strong point of mine. While I have only taught a few lessons, I've enjoyed it so much. This past Sunday, Cindy, the girls' youth leader, was sick. Instead of my junior high girls and boys, I had junior and senior high girls. In getting together the lesson I had worked on through the week, I wondered if it would apply to all the girls. I prayed and asked the Lord to guide us. If He wanted them to hear that lesson, I would teach it. But I chose to be flexible. Not always easy for me!

In catching up with the girls, we talked about school, ACT's, and how both were going. One of the girls was worried. A mistake had been made and she couldn't see how it could be fixed. And the conversation went from there. I tried to explain to her that this mistake just gave her a way to watch how God works. All the Christian 'self-help' slogans preach that mistakes are just opportunities for God. But it's not just a phrase. It's truth. We forget that until the world comes crashing in. When health breaks down into sickness. When the money runs out and a pink slip comes in. When the ones we trust betray us. When all we've ever wanted becomes impossible. When our dreams lay shattered at our feet.

I told my own story. I cried. It's quite humbling when you're supposed to be leading and teaching and you cry. I tried to explain that God always makes a way and that I was learning that through my own experiences. Sometimes His way is a broken path. He doesn't always fix what we want Him to fix. But He walks that broken path with us. While we may feel alone, we never are. And He always replaces what we long for. Do I still miss those dreams? Yes. Especially at night, when the house is quiet and I'm the only one awake. But I'm not alone. And I don't mean my loved ones asleep in their beds. He is with me. And He comforts me. It's much easier to cry when you're alone and writing, by the way.

But I want you to know something. There are things and people in my life because of those broken dreams. I don't know if they would have been there had I not walked this path. I don't know if I would have appreciated them as much as I do now. Be encouraged, friends. He does have a plan through those 'mistakes'. And those plans can only be shown to His greatest glory through fractures.

UnGodly Decisions

In my years at Liberty Christian College (a LONG time ago), I took some counseling courses. One of the things I learned about was 'unGodly decisions'. These are decisions, or vows, we can make in response to hurt or pain. These pains can be real or imagined. We are faced with these choices in just about every aspect of our lives. One of my decisions from college was when I chose to show someone in leadership over me what my version of a bad attitude was. Sound childish? It is. But you don't have to be a child or immature to make that kind of decision.

I have found myself struggling with that response even in recent years. If I don't like someone else's judgement of me, my knee jerk response is to want to show them what their judgement really looks like. Now, either I'm shallow and immature, or I'm a sinner trying to learn from past mistakes. Wonder if the two really are the same thing? But that's a longer debate and for a future blog. To tell the truth, I thought I'd learned this lesson several years ago, but just when you think it's safe to go back into the water...

So what response does He ask of us? I don't think it's the one the little boy is having in this picture! In praying this through and receiving Godly counsel, I have questions that we should ask ourselves when faced with situations like this:

• Is this something that the Lord has been trying to tell you that you haven't been listening or open to? He is so gracious that He will never speak to you without first using His 'gentle' voice. Maybe it's something that needs to be exposed, that we've been trying to hide. If that's the case, take it straight to the Cross. Ask for, then receive forgiveness. Learn from it and try not to repeat history.
• Is this out of the blue? Did you have no warning? If this is the case, then examine yourself. Is it true? If it isn't true and you've been following your obligations to the best of your ability, then look outside of yourself.
• This may not even be about you! The person and issue that you are struggling with, could actually be their struggle. Sometimes we really are just innocent bystanders. They may be under stress and/or the Lord could be dealing with them in some area. If this is the case, them we have a huge responsibility. We aren't allowed to take offence. What we are allowed to do is to pray for and bless them. All the while continuing to fulfill our obligations.

None of these are easy or fun! I know, because I've done the opposite of all of these. Which also means that I keep running into the same situation. Same song, second verse. We aren't in a classroom. We don't have teachers who write a giant 'F' on our papers when we fail the tests of life. But our Father does 'hold us back'. He will repeat the same test, over and over, until we pass it. Makes you think that maybe a written test would be easier, doesn't it? These tests aren't fun, but He promises that the rewards are worth it!