The Valley

I'm in a valley, right now. They can be such painful places, can't they?
This song, by Jars of Clay, has been a companion through some of the deepest, darkest vallies of my life.

Jars Of Clay

The Valley Song (Sing Of Your Mercy)

You have led me to the sadness

I have carried this pain

On a back bruised and nearly broken

I'm crying out to You

Chorus:

I will sing of Your mercy that

Leads me through valleys of sorrow

To rivers of joy

When death like a gypsy

Comes to steal what I love

I will still look to the heavens

I will still seek Your face

But I fear You aren't listening

Because there are no words

Just the stillness and the hunger

For a faith that assures

(chorus x 2)

Alleluia (x4)

While we wait for a rescue

With our eyes tightly shut

Face to the ground using our hands

To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean

Tossing us around, around, around

You have calmed greater waters

And higher mountains have come down

(chorus) ...yeah

Alleluia (x4)

(chorus x 4)

Oh oh oh, sing of Your mercyMercy,

Your mercy.

Shattered Dreams

Last year, I felt the Lord prompting me to begin teaching a junior high Sunday school class. It only took a year to actually begin. Immediate response has never been a strong point of mine. While I have only taught a few lessons, I've enjoyed it so much. This past Sunday, Cindy, the girls' youth leader, was sick. Instead of my junior high girls and boys, I had junior and senior high girls. In getting together the lesson I had worked on through the week, I wondered if it would apply to all the girls. I prayed and asked the Lord to guide us. If He wanted them to hear that lesson, I would teach it. But I chose to be flexible. Not always easy for me!

In catching up with the girls, we talked about school, ACT's, and how both were going. One of the girls was worried. A mistake had been made and she couldn't see how it could be fixed. And the conversation went from there. I tried to explain to her that this mistake just gave her a way to watch how God works. All the Christian 'self-help' slogans preach that mistakes are just opportunities for God. But it's not just a phrase. It's truth. We forget that until the world comes crashing in. When health breaks down into sickness. When the money runs out and a pink slip comes in. When the ones we trust betray us. When all we've ever wanted becomes impossible. When our dreams lay shattered at our feet.

I told my own story. I cried. It's quite humbling when you're supposed to be leading and teaching and you cry. I tried to explain that God always makes a way and that I was learning that through my own experiences. Sometimes His way is a broken path. He doesn't always fix what we want Him to fix. But He walks that broken path with us. While we may feel alone, we never are. And He always replaces what we long for. Do I still miss those dreams? Yes. Especially at night, when the house is quiet and I'm the only one awake. But I'm not alone. And I don't mean my loved ones asleep in their beds. He is with me. And He comforts me. It's much easier to cry when you're alone and writing, by the way.

But I want you to know something. There are things and people in my life because of those broken dreams. I don't know if they would have been there had I not walked this path. I don't know if I would have appreciated them as much as I do now. Be encouraged, friends. He does have a plan through those 'mistakes'. And those plans can only be shown to His greatest glory through fractures.

UnGodly Decisions

In my years at Liberty Christian College (a LONG time ago), I took some counseling courses. One of the things I learned about was 'unGodly decisions'. These are decisions, or vows, we can make in response to hurt or pain. These pains can be real or imagined. We are faced with these choices in just about every aspect of our lives. One of my decisions from college was when I chose to show someone in leadership over me what my version of a bad attitude was. Sound childish? It is. But you don't have to be a child or immature to make that kind of decision.

I have found myself struggling with that response even in recent years. If I don't like someone else's judgement of me, my knee jerk response is to want to show them what their judgement really looks like. Now, either I'm shallow and immature, or I'm a sinner trying to learn from past mistakes. Wonder if the two really are the same thing? But that's a longer debate and for a future blog. To tell the truth, I thought I'd learned this lesson several years ago, but just when you think it's safe to go back into the water...

So what response does He ask of us? I don't think it's the one the little boy is having in this picture! In praying this through and receiving Godly counsel, I have questions that we should ask ourselves when faced with situations like this:

• Is this something that the Lord has been trying to tell you that you haven't been listening or open to? He is so gracious that He will never speak to you without first using His 'gentle' voice. Maybe it's something that needs to be exposed, that we've been trying to hide. If that's the case, take it straight to the Cross. Ask for, then receive forgiveness. Learn from it and try not to repeat history.
• Is this out of the blue? Did you have no warning? If this is the case, then examine yourself. Is it true? If it isn't true and you've been following your obligations to the best of your ability, then look outside of yourself.
• This may not even be about you! The person and issue that you are struggling with, could actually be their struggle. Sometimes we really are just innocent bystanders. They may be under stress and/or the Lord could be dealing with them in some area. If this is the case, them we have a huge responsibility. We aren't allowed to take offence. What we are allowed to do is to pray for and bless them. All the while continuing to fulfill our obligations.

None of these are easy or fun! I know, because I've done the opposite of all of these. Which also means that I keep running into the same situation. Same song, second verse. We aren't in a classroom. We don't have teachers who write a giant 'F' on our papers when we fail the tests of life. But our Father does 'hold us back'. He will repeat the same test, over and over, until we pass it. Makes you think that maybe a written test would be easier, doesn't it? These tests aren't fun, but He promises that the rewards are worth it!

Romance

I LOVE romance. Movies, music, and musicals, I love them all! Mother tells the story that when I was less than a year old, The Music Man was shown on TV. This was years before TIVO or even VHS. There was no owning of movies back then. When a movie came on TV that you wanted to see, you made time. You must understand that this movie is my mother's favorite musical. So when she discovered that it was coming on, she sat the three of us down; a five year old, a three year old, and a baby. According to her, we sat silently watching the movie with her. I don't know how we could have been that good or absorbed, but she believes that we timed our short attention spans to coincide with commercials. It's easy to believe it when you count the decades (I refuse to tell you the exact numbers) that have passed, but truth or not, that's my mother's story and she's sticking to it!

When I was in seventh grade, she put Lisa & I to bed early and woke us up at midnight to watch the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. We had heard the plot and the songs for years, but had never been able to see the movie itself. Again, long before DVD's or videos. You could say that my passion for things romantic began at an early age! My mother taught us well. Someday, I might tell the story of how my brother, Richard, proposed to his wife, Janet. Though, in the words of Aslan, it isn't my story to tell, I love telling stories even more than I love romance.

Wednesday night, on the way home from church, Delilah was on the radio. Now, if you want romance, just tune in to her. She happened to play one of the most romantic songs there is... When I Fall In Love from Sleepless in Seattle. I turned it up so that I couldn't hear myself, sang along, and sighed at the end. Then I found another romantic song and sighed as I drove past downtown Birmingham, lights aglow and my romantic heart all aflutter. In looking for another song, I pressed the button for WDJC, the Christian Radio station. I honestly can't remember what song it was, but I was in the mood to sing along. Ok, I'm always in the mood to sing along, but I did. It was rejoicing in His love, His provision, and the fact that He never leaves us. Then it hit me. Which of those three songs was the most romantic? Which one told the whole story? Which love that was mentioned is eternal?

I started to analyze then. As fun as the flutters and sighs of romantic things are, they fade. Reality and real life intrude. His love is ever present through the monotony. Who breaks into song over morning breath and the direction of the toilet paper roll? His presence can be felt even during the frustrations of morning traffic. He is so much more than feelings, songs and night time sky scapes. He is eternal. He has made Himself availabe for those of us who have fallen in love, those of us who haven't and those of us whose hearts have been broken. He's more than any song, movie or feeling. He's better. So, next time we feel alone and loney, let's remember that we have with us the One who is the Author of romance.

In love,

Lara

Worship

What is worship to you? Is it something you do in church? Is it a noun? A verb? An adverb? Ok, enough with the grammar lesson! But the question remains, what do you do with worship? The Christian radio station in Birmingham, 93.7 WDJC, does an amazing thing every Sunday. They play only praise and worship music. I love waking up with such music every week. I wrote them several years back and let them know how much their station prepares me for the worship service at Liberty. But, again, the question remains, what do you do with worship? It can't just be reserved for Sundays. And just what does worship consist of? Music? Voices? Raised arms? Bent knees?

A couple of weeks ago, Lisa & I spent time with friends in Pensacola, FL. Our friend, Jennifer, and I were discussing our passions. Mine for writing and hers for dance. She was frustrated with the fact that she never seems to have time for dance any more. I was frustrated with myself in that I seem to find time for everything but writing. Why were we struggling to follow through in our passions? She blew me away when she referred to following her passion as worship! What if the cry of our hearts is to worship our Lord through our passion? When we write, dance, study our genealogy or even sew, are we worshipping? How about when some of you are writing computer programs, or teaching people about nutrition? Can these be forms of worship? Maybe we should think outside the box of hymns and Matt Redmon & Chris Tomlin songs.

He has given us these passions and drives. When we use them and work them, we are worshiping Him. The Lord commanded that the worshipers lead the way into battle. The walls of Jericho fell in response to obedience and worship. Working in our passion is a battle. There is nothing the enemy of our souls wants more than to keep us from His full plan for our lives. His plan includes using the talents and passions that He has placed within us. Using them brings glory to our Creator. And to glorify Him is to worship Him. Use your passion! Work at it as you would a muscle that requires strengthening. This can be painful and sweat filled. I don't like them, and you might not either. But to ignore them and avoid them glorifies the enemy. And he doesn't deserve our glory!

Maybe you don't struggle with this. Maybe I was just writing this to wake myself up. If so, then it's worth it. But surely there are more than just Jennifer and I who struggle with this. Take courage in your journey! You are not alone in your fight to enjoy and worship God with your passion! I am there and am working to build up this strength He has given me. Meanwhile, pop in a Tomlin cd and worship!

What's in a Name?

If I were to say the name Phelps, your mind would immediately swing towards the Olympics, a record breaking number of gold medals, swimming, or maybe even ADHD. Say May & Walsh, the same thing happens, although in a different sport and without the diagnosis of ADHD. Celebrities and politicians as well are now known by one name. Bond no longer has a corner on the market. But what is in a name? Shakespeare wrote that 'a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'. Anne Shirley disagreed with his sentiment. She insisted that her name have an e on the end. Monica refused to change her last name to Bing. In my stories and scripts, I'm stumped until I find the perfect name for my characters. What does it matter?

If you take the time to google 'names of God', you will realize that they come up with 2,620,000 results. I have known and sat under many teachers who have made a study of His names and their meanings. Every language has a name for Him. To Moses, He said to tell Pharaoh 'I Am'. In learning prepositions, teachers and books inform children to picture a tree. Any word that prefaces this tree is usually a preposition. Do that with 'I Am...'

• I Am your comfort.
• I Am your refuge.
• I Am your fulfillment.
• I Am all that you need.

Those are just a few things that our Lord is. The list truly is endless. You might even say infinite. He is, you know. These last few weeks, I can't stop singing songs about His name.

"Your Name is a strong and mighty tower.

Your Name is a shelter like no other.

Your Name.

Let the nations sing it louder.

Nothing has the power to save,

but Your Name." Phillips, Craig & Dean

"Call My Name.

Say it now.

I want you to never doubt

The Love I have for you is so alive!

You just say My Name!" Third Day

What other Name brings freedom? What other Name breaks chains of depression and oppression? What other Name calls forth the hosts of heaven? Have there been times when whispering, calling, shouting or screaming His name felt useless? Honestly, yes. I felt no better. I sometimes even felt worse. But something begins to break when His Name is spoken. It may take a while to feel it, but He moves. He comes to His feet when we cry out to Him.

So, while the names of Olympic medalists are in the forefront of our minds now, His Name, His eternal Name outshines the brightest of athletes.

Nostalgia

A few posts back, I referred to my love of nostalgia. I love old movies, old books, old music and old friends. I enjoy thinking back and remembering past events. This has been on my mind a lot recently. I joined Facebook.com and have been reconnecting with so many of my old friends. Friends from Wilkes County, NC, as well as High Point, NC. So many that my brother, sister and I went to Liberty Bible/Christian College with, as well. Not to mention the various folks I've known through Liberty Church here in Birmingham and the family that I lived with in Japan. Years ago, Tricia Yearwood recorded a song called 'The Song Remembers When'. It's a beautiful song about lost love. It describes how just one song can transport you back to a certain moment. Isn't it amazing how a song, a picture, even a smell can take you back? I love those moments!

But I have a question. How much nostalgia is too much? The Old Testament tells us that the Lord commanded the Israelites to build monuments when He had carried them through something or when He had delivered them. But what about the times when we remember and treasure the wrong things? God didn't have them build a monument to Egypt, but when they were wandering, they kept longing for it. I wrote in my last post asking how slavery can be the 'good old days' and this post seems to carry that question on. What if we build monuments to the wrong things?

Maybe the long lost love who is now married? An abusive friendship? The devil we know as opposed to the one we don't? Do we occasionally crave the life of sin and slavery that we tossed aside to follow Christ? Are we letting His monuments gather dust and cobwebs while we polish the wrong ones? God is omnipresent and omnipotent. Yesterday, today and tomorrow are all the same to Him, He is in all three. We are not. We only have this moment to live in. Even if our good old days really were good, we are called to be His hands and feet now. How can I be His example today if I'm too busy listening to yesterday's music? Yesterday's conversations? Yesterday's relationships? We can't, and I think shouldn't, forget those parts of our past. They are the reasons that we are where and who we are now.

Balance is the key, of course. But how do you find something you're out of? Look to Him, our great Timekeeper. He holds all time in His hands. He's the One who built us through every step of our past. The Israelites looked back to all they previously had. Not to the One who delivered them. Therein lies the key. The monuments pointed heaven-ward. They were not reminders just of what had happened, but of Who had done the work. If we're too busy wondering about that long lost love what is are we missing that He has for us? If I'm too caught up in my old Cd's, what new artist or word am I missing? God is always trying to speak to us in new and exciting ways, but if we're too wrapped up in the old ways, will we hear Him?

Enjoy the monuments. Take a moment to remember what He's brought you through, but don't dally, you might miss something.