All Tangled Up

In our basement, Lisa & I have a gift wrapping table. It is so covered up with boxes, bows, bags and ribbons that we can't actually wrap anything on it. Some of the prettiest ribbons are the thin, shinny ones but they are also the biggest handle on the table. There is absolutely no way to keep them organized. The ends unravel and tangle up with each other. In picking up the entire bunch, there are colorful tendrils of ribbon hanging and tangled up everywhere. It's actually a pretty if frustrating sight.

In a seemingly unrelated note, I love being on Facebook. I don't always accept friend requests. I just want to make sure I actually have met and known the friend. Recently I received a friend request from someone I knew over 20 years ago. Once I realized who she was, all of these feelings came up. Disappointments, pain, insecurity and not just a little bitterness. Isn't it amazing how long these things can linger without our being aware? I stewed over them and, of course, remembered every way in which I believed she had wronged me. Suddenly I was 18 again. I tried to rationalize that she was just a kid herself when these things had happened and just as insecure as I had been. Rational doesn't work against old hurts, just in case you wondered. A few hours later (why do we wait so long?) I was laying in bed and remembered to take it all to the Altar of the Lord. I pictured myself pulling out all of those old emotions and laying them on the Altar. In pulling out, I imagined all those ribbons. He wasn't asking me to sort through them, just pull them out. Those tendrils were wrapped up all inside and connected to everything. Finally they were out, and laying on the Altar. Just a tangled heap of emotions and unforgiveness.

Now, when I think of her, I speak forgiveness to her and bless her. Do I feel waves of love and forgiveness toward her? Not yet. But I do feel lighter and less tangled inside. It's amazing to think that He's just been waiting for me to get rid of all that tangled mess for over 20 years. What a gentle and patient Lord we serve! He is ever the Gentleman. And there is no forgiveness without Him.